We had to run an errand today but felt so stir-crazy from being stuck home and so happy to be out in the sunshine that after we finished, we just kept driving south on the GW Parkway. We had the soundtrack of Hamilton playing because that’s the only thing we’ve listened to since it got released on Disney+ (it’s a daily question in our home: “So what random song or line from Hamilton is stuck in your head today?”), and we happened upon this sign just as we passed Mount Vernon. We clearly stopped to take a picture, nerded out about it, skipped to “Yorktown” (1781!), and proceeded to drive home along the parkway. We pulled over at one of the scenic overlooks for a moment because it felt so nice to be close to the waters of the Potomac River when LO AND BEHOLD, a GD bald eagle soared by RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. Peak ‘Merica, I tell you.
It’s a gift to know in the moment when I’m witnessing or experiencing something that is changing my life in real time. Seeing the Fun Home musical on Sunday was one of those moments.
I honestly didn’t know what to expect from it. I’d read the graphic novel(a “tragicomic”) by Alison Bechdel last fall, after my thoughtful nephew gave it to me for my birthday. I didn’t know much about the show and sort of preferred it that way. He’d seen it in New York and loved it, so when I saw that it was coming to DC, I knew I had to get tickets.
I was floored.
The show itself is outstanding overall. I’m not any kind of Broadway aficionado, but the set, the music, the actors, the individual performances … all the components came together so beautifully to create a funny and incredibly moving story. I wondered how they were going to adapt the show from the graphic novel while keeping Bechdel’s voice as the narrator/cartoonist, and they did it in a really solid way. And for the context of this blog post, I should mention that the show fluidly weaves together three different actors who play Alison as a kid, a college student, and an adult.
So now let me try to articulate something I’ve been trying to figure out for myself for the past few days, what it is that has stayed with me since the final note of the show. It felt both incredibly foreign and validating to see myself in the lead role. I have never felt that before! Some of the lines written for “Little Alison” could’ve been lifted from Little LG’s childhood. The confusion and angst of Young Adult Alison? Same. And Adult Alison isn’t some L Word or prime time network lesbian, but someone who is justunapologeticallybutch like me. Obviously the personal aspect of the story is unique to Bechdel, but for the first time in my life I felt like I was watching myself. It stunned me to tears a few times just to see something that rang so true.
Alison’s queerness is definitely a critical part of the story, and I really love that the show didn’t shy away from that or try to tone it down to make it more palatable. But it’s also about her family dynamic, particularly her tricky relationship with her father and his demons. I identified so much with the loss, the regret, the unanswered questions, and Alison’s longing to make sense of it all. Why isn’t there more representation of marginalized people? We’re interesting as hell!
I also love music so much that hearing a perfectly unexpected note or a heartbreaking chord progression in a minor key can bring tears to my eyes. That said, the compelling musical numbers and emotional build up of the story forced me to keep my handkerchief out for good for the last 20 minutes or so. We only brought one (poor planning!), so B and I just kept passing it back and forth while the tears streamed down our faces, and I’m pretty sure we weren’t the only ones. (Seriously: While looking up a couple of the songs on YouTube after I saw the show, you can hear audible crying from the person filming he song.) It’s a good thing the soundtrack is good, because it has been stuck in my head for the past two days.
I don’t want it to sound like the show was depressing, because it wasn’t at all. It was tender and real, with some hilarious songs and one-liners thrown in as well (plus outstanding and adorable child actors!).
And when I think about why that performance is going to stay with me for a long, long time, it’s in large part because they got the gender presentation and identity stuff right. I really appreciated how carefully the writers approached it, keeping it both light-hearted but respectful.
As proof of that and to wrap this up, here’s one of the best songs from the show, in which Little Alison sees a butch for the first time and … her reaction is perfect. Also, can we talk about how the Tony awards featured a song that is basically a love letter to butches everywhere? This show deserves every award it has won.
Ell Gee Writes 